Dude looks like a lady

Right, I have got some things to write about before I lose my impetus...

My first experience of "another" kind of sexuality was a transvestite in Majorca. He / she / it was called Suzie and from my then naive 13 year old point of view he was simply a 40 year old man wearing make up, high heels and had some socks stuffed down his bra. All in all he exuded about as much sex appeal as an incontinent bulldog.

20 years later and I have met some vastly superior Suzies, in fact they are rife here in Thailand... Yes indeed, they are The Ladyboys.

Ladyboys range between effeminate men to the "I haven't even had a single beer yet, but that is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life". Some you can tell straight away (like with the German Shepards & the Terminators), big hands, big feet etc. But the finely tuned ones are nearly impossible to spot. Which of course brings us to the story which many a sailor (among others) has to tell (I think my father speaks of "A friend" to whom it happened, yeah, well...). The usual "Pulled a stunner, got her home and just as it was getting exciting, I reached down and and and and SHE HAD A PENIS!!! I mean he, well she". Cue dazed look and taking a big gulp of a pint as culprit sits at the bar and shakes his head in disbelief.

I have managed to evade their charms, but I have seen many a man being lulled into submission. They actually are the perfect woman - they like a drink and are even more promiscous than most men. You are walking down the beach in Koh Phan Gan after 17 million beers and this gorgeous thing comes up to you and asks if you would like a blowjob... If you can't resist, well at least you can always say that travelling broadens your horizons...

Why they are endemic to Thailand and not anywhere else in the world will remain a mystery to me. As if the Thai men are simply born with less testosterone than the rest of mankind.