Kaieteur

Probably the biggest attraction in the Guyanas (apart from the jungles) are the Kaieteur falls. Situated in a remote part of the Guyana shield forest, the only way to get there (apart from a 5 day hike which I didn't fancy) is by light aircraft. So I booked my flight, the next plane being in 3 days, and killed some time in Georgetown. The days flew by as it is a very mellow place to chill out, have some beers and generally not do anything more stressful than enter and exit a hammock (Aside: If you are to believe Lonely Planet you will be robbed, raped, disembowled 10 minutes after arriving in town AND then you will contract malaria & dengue). And so it was on on Saturday morning that I was sitting in a tiny Cessna with some Americans and we were flying over more Brocolli towards Kaieteur.

One of my fellow passengers was a vet (Americans: Vet = veterinarian, Englanders: Vet = Veteran) in his 30s. He had been travelling for the last 3 years and now had been to over 100 countries. In fact he was probably the most travelled person I have ever met. The fecker had been all through the 'stans and also through most of Africa and the Carribean. Even in my "need to get cosy in one place for a while" state, his descriptions of Ethopia made me want to hop in a plane and go. Just before touching down in Kaieteur, the captain did a shit-your-pants scary roll and gave us a full view of the falls, which were spectacular. Not nearly as high as the Angel, they were instead extremely wide and just as impressive.

We landed and headed out on a stroll through the jungle toward the falls. Our "guide" for the day was a funny rasta who wore baggy pants, pristine white Nikes and a baseball cap perfectly tilted to 45 degrees on his head. His tour consisted of many well rehearsed stops with mini-speeches. Difficult questions were not tolerated. Thank god there were no Germans on the tour asking him how many layers of sedimentary rock had been folded under how much pressure to form the tectonic rift we were standing on.

We made our way though the thicket, spotting a couple of [extremely posionous] Golden Frogs on the way, to finally emerge and see the falls. They really are quite amazing.

We headed back to Georgetown via a hotel resort near Bartica. Quite decadent actually making a stop in a plane just for lunch. We were greeted by staff with umbrellas and shown to our delicous lunch. Back in Georgetown that night it was a couple of beers at Windies bar before hitting the sack early.

Suriname tomorrow.

Georgetown

Georgetown is a great place. The buildings are either in lovely colonial style or completely dilapadated, held together with duct tape and rosary beads. The people are extremely friendly, their English is either a sing song creole or like it was stuck in the 50s. They all seemed to be amused at my gringoness walking around town.
"How de sun be treatin ye today" was one comment from a rasta cycling by. My general whiteness seemed a neverending source of amusement to the locals.

One night a large black chap stopped me and said "I want a white dick". I was about to break into tears and offer him thousands of dollars not to hurt me when he interrupted. "I want two dicks, me black one and a white one". Flattering him I said that I was sure his black one was enough to keep the ladies happy. "Sure it is man, I just want de white one to tickle dem with". We both burst out laughing and he gave me a beer from his sixpack.
Another highlight was the turning on of the Christmas lights outside Courts supermarket. The prime minister was there, models in black leather catsuits too and to cap it all of a black Santa Claus that was gyrating his hips so lewdly and generally bumping and grinding like it was an olympic sport, that I'm sure in the USA childrens' eyes would have had to be covered by concerned parents. All he was missing was a bottle of rum in his hand.

Grooving into Guyana

The first impressions of Guyana were slightly amusing. Lots of stuffy looking black chaps in immigration, dressed as if the Brits had never left. But on the plus side the language was English. If with a slightly weird creole lilt. I was asked how long I wanted to stay. I said a week and the nice chap gave me a whole 10 days. Obviously they don't want people overstaying their welcome. Then a bored customs lady wanted to inspect my backpack. She had a quick look in and was obviously repelled by the odours eminating from within as she said ¨Thank you, that's enough¨ seconds after opening it.

In Lethem I sat around a minibus office for about an hour before being told that the bus had actually left... Did it not strike them to tell me this earlier? Or were they just reluctant to upset me after my 18 bus ride from Venezuela? I asked them were there any other busses. ¨No¨. She said I could sleep in the office, I politely declined and asked if there was a hotel in town. ¨No¨ she said. Perhaps an ATM? ¨No¨. She was a right bundle of laughs. I asked her which way the town centre was (we were sitting in a field with a couple of houses around us). She said ¨This is the town centre¨ . Guyana and me were off to a troubled start. Reassesing her office floor I finally got a ¨yes¨ when I asked if there was internet access somewhere.

I logged on and googled ¨Lethem Bus¨ and ¨Lethem hotel¨. There were indeed 2 hotels and apparently a night bus at 9. Fantastic! I nearly went back to minibus lady and blew a raspberry in her face. I found my way to the bus ¨terminal¨ at 6 only to be told that the ticket seller was closed. I riposted with ultimate logic that the bus wasn't leaving till 9, a whole 3 hours of time for me to obtain a ticket. ¨No, it's closed¨ explained the lady as if I were an imbicile. So despite the fact that the bus was probably half empty I left sans ticket and checked into the Kakuru hotel which proved quite decent.

Things started looking up even more over dinner where my hostess with the mostess kept taking the mickey out of me at every opportunity. She was laughing to herself as she told me my white face glowed in the dark. It was good clean banter and I had a couple of beers and laughed away with her. Guyana and myself were geting to know and like each other.

The next morning I managed to get my ticket and waited for the bus which turned up only an hour or so late. The journey was 12 hours long and was quite spectacular - from the pampa like plains to the south of Guyana we gradually transgressed into the deepest, darkest rainforest you have ever seen. The main ¨road¨ to Georgetown was a mud track cut right through the middle of the forest. At most the road was 4 meters wide. At one stage the bus had to get on a ferry to cross a river. Whilst we were waiting for the ferry (which was obviously in no hurry) macaws flew by and even a Toucan made an appearance. It was just like you picture a rainforest, complete with weird sounds coming from deep within the trees. We drove for at least 5 hours through the forest, which just got more and more dense. Ocassionaly we would pass by a military check point where we would all have to leave the bus, show our passports and get back on again. The whole day we passed a sum total of 6 cars and finally around 10pm we exited the jungle and soon hit a main road and were in Georgetown in jig time, where I crashed into bed in the lovely Rima Guesthouse.

Yes, Guyana and myself were definitely now getting it on.